The Reading Today
• Daily Theme: The limits of moral effort, the gradual nature of change, and giving up the illusion of control.• Source Material: Mere Christianity ("Leaving It to God")
My Reflection
Wow, this excerpt was a challenge. I began reading today’s passage without the slightest clue what Lewis was talking about. Thankfully, by the second paragraph, things started to make some sense, and by the end of the third, I finally felt I had a grasp on what he was trying to illustrate.
Lewis touches on the concept of change, noting that we often do not realise it is happening in the moment. I have had many instances in my later life where I have realised that I have changed in ways I never expected—or even noticed were occurring at the time. There are aspects of my personality where I feel I have truly ‘grown up’, and observing these only brings into sharp relief the areas where I haven't quite managed it yet!
His analogy of the anxious, sleepless man feels particularly relevant, as I suffer from insomnia from time to time. The harder you try to force sleep, the further away it gets. It is exactly like the old adage of the watched kettle that never boils. If we sit there monitoring our own minds for signs of spiritual growth, we are putting ourselves on the completely wrong track.
Lewis suggests that the ultimate realisation is abandoning our own efforts and 'leaving it to God'. While I understand the surrender he is advocating for, I would hope that this is not solely a one-sided surrender, but rather a joint effort between myself and the Divine. I hope I have made some sense of what Lewis is trying to describe today. I often finish reading his dense theology with a nagging doubt that I have perhaps completely misunderstood him, but I suppose sitting with that uncertainty is simply part of the process.
Historical Footnote (23rd September)
1938: Out of the Silent Planet (the first volume of Lewis's Space Trilogy) is published by The Bodley Head, London.
Why This Matters
Obsessively tracking our own moral or spiritual progress is a trap that leads directly to frustration. Accepting that profound personal growth is often gradual, silent, and only visible in the rearview mirror allows us to simply live our lives rather than constantly grading our performance.
My Action for Today
Today, I will stop being the insomniac anxiously waiting for sleep. I will try to let go of the need to constantly monitor my own progress, trusting that quiet, gradual growth is happening behind the scenes.
Reader Question
Have you ever looked back and realised you had 'grown up' in a certain way without ever noticing the change as it was happening?
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