Day 23: Blind Infatuation and the Red Flags of Love (14th August)

 

The Reading Today

• Daily Theme: Infatuation as an Excuse for Poor Judgment
• Source Material: The Screwtape Letters

My Reflection

When I reached the bottom of today's reading and saw that it was yet another excerpt from The Screwtape Letters, I will admit my heart sank slightly! However, I am slowly growing accustomed to Lewis’s reverse logic—remembering that when Screwtape speaks of the "Enemy", he means God, and that Hell's advice is always upside-down.

In today's letter, Screwtape outlines two major traps Hell lays regarding relationships:

First, Hell encourages humans to view steady, sensible motives for commitment—such as loyalty, mutual help, and quiet companionship—as something "low and cynical" compared to a dramatic, all-consuming storm of emotion. People are persuaded that unless they feel sweeping, cinematic passion, a relationship has no merit.

Second, Screwtape boasts that once any sexual infatuation is labelled as "true love," humans use it to excuse reckless decisions:

"...Any sexual infatuation whatever, so long as it intends marriage, will be regarded as 'love', and 'love' will be held to excuse a man from all the guilt, and to protect him from all the consequences, of marrying a heathen, a fool, or a wanton."

Lewis’s mid-20th-century phrasing can feel antiquated to modern ears, but the core psychological observation is timeless. When infatuation takes over, people routinely ignore glaring warning signs—choosing partners who are fundamentally incompatible, reckless, or untrustworthy—under the naive assumption that "being in love" will magically protect them from real-world consequences.

In my younger years, I certainly made the mistake of equating physical attraction and instant chemistry with a deep, loving relationship. It takes time and lived experience to realize that intense emotional highs can easily blind us.

If Lewis were writing today, he might simply say that culture encourages us to chase chemical sparks and excitement while overlooking the real essentials of a lasting bond: emotional maturity, shared values, trust, and mutual respect.

 

Why This Matters

Infatuation is a powerful emotion, but it makes for a terrible judge of character. A healthy relationship requires clear-eyed honesty. Elevating romantic feelings above basic compatibility and mutual respect is a sure recipe for heartache.

My Action for Today

Today, I will practice clear-sighted gratitude for the genuine, grounded connections in my life—valuing trust, reliability, and mutual support over dramatic emotional highs.

Reader Question

Have you ever looked back on a past infatuation and realized how completely it blinded you to obvious red flags?