Day 9: Start Small (31st July)

 

The Reading Today

• Daily Theme: The Necessity of Forgiveness
• Source Material: Mere Christianity

My Reflection

Today’s excerpt continues on the theme of forgiveness. In this passage, Lewis explicitly reminds us of a central Christian doctrine: if we do not forgive others, we ourselves will not be forgiven. While I understand this principle and the serious personal challenges it presents, it got me thinking about something Lewis doesn't explicitly address here—the notion of self-forgiveness.

Forgiving others is usually part of a much bigger picture, but I believe it is intimately tied to forgiving oneself. In any disagreement, there are two sides. Each party views their own perspective as the "truth," and true resolution requires both sides to be willing to listen. I was reminded of a well-known quote by Adam Grant.

"Argue like you're right, listen like you're wrong."

This feels like a crucial key to mediation and genuine reconciliation.

There have been many times in my life where I felt like the "aggrieved" party and stubbornly closed my ears, wanting only for the other person to admit their failings and apologise. But as the years go by, wisdom comes at a price.

I feel that learning to forgive yourself is that "small start" or practice that allows you to naturally extend forgiveness outward. When we recognise that we are all imperfect beings living in a hostile, imperfect world, the emotional and spiritual weight lifted by both giving and receiving forgiveness transforms our daily interactions entirely.

 

Why This Matters

Forgiveness cannot just be an outward demand; it has to begin within. If we carry harsh self-condemnation, we will almost certainly project that rigidity onto others. Embracing our own human imperfection allows us to lower our guard and approach conflict with humility rather than defensiveness.

My Action for Today

Today, if I catch myself holding onto a grievance or feeling defensive, I will take a breath, practice listening as though I might have something to learn, and extend the same grace to myself that I hope to offer others.

Reader Question

Do you find it harder to forgive someone who has wronged you, or to forgive yourself for your own mistakes? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!